January 2006
Mom Has Fun Parenting News
This month's topic is a bit of a follow-on from last month's discussion
on labels. And regardless of whether your child is "learning
disabled", a "genius" or anywhere in-between, the power
of curiosity is a valuable lesson for us all.
Learning disabled or genius?
You probably know by now that this quote from Buckminster Fuller
is one of my favorites: "Everyone is born a genius, but the process
of living de-geniuses them."
You may be saying to yourself, that is true but... and then your
mind gives you all kinds of reasons why this statement is not true
for yourself or your child! And if you still can see it as true for
your child, most likely you will deny it as true for yourself.
Yet, I firmly believe, that Buckminster Fuller is right. No matter
what "handicap" a person is born with, we are all born geniuses.
Or you may be thinking, "this can't possibly be true, my child
was diagnosed with... (fill in the blank!). I am sure you can trust
your doctor as far as the diagnosis is concerned, however, the danger
of a diagnosis is that it almost always sets up an expectation for
certain behaviors.
Often I speak with parents who say, "Oh, he cannot sit still
- he has ADHD." However, if I then start working with the child,
I soon discover that if I can trigger his curiosity, then all of a
sudden the child can sit still and focus for a long period of time!
I've worked with parents who use a particular label to explain away
their child's unacceptable behavior. They do not hold the child accountable
to what they are truly capable of. The child actually learns that
they don't have to follow the rules and their "symptoms"
can eventually become a manipulation game to avoid responsibilities
and consequences.
I recently was invited to visit a school for autistic children in
England. I hadn't really observed autistic kids before, so out of
curiosity I went. It proved to be an extremely valuable experience
for me. I went to a classroom of older kids where the teachers (2
teachers per 4-6 kids) were working with the kids on English.
It was quite amazing to watch the seemingly distracted and somewhat
bored kids all of sudden get curious. And when their curiosity was
sparked, they became immediately focused and participated fully -
a far different behavior from the "autistic symptoms" they
were exhibiting just a moment before. This also seemed to happen for
different kids at different times. For one it might be reading, for
another music or something else.
It was also interesting to watch the highly qualified and well trained
teachers. They didn't seem to have instructions to follow the sparks
of curiosity exhibited by the kids. They just continued with their
standard curriculum and no one "chased" the curiosity. As
soon as the subject changed again, the lights of brilliance and wonder
I saw in the kids went away and they fell back into their "normal"
autistic behavior.
I left the school very thoughtful. Perhaps this is the way it really
is for all of us - it's just that the phenomenon is more exaggerated
and obvious in these kids? Don't we all get excited and pay attention
when something is interesting to us, and "mentally check out"
when something seems slow and boring?
It also made me recall how, when watching "normal" kids,
I'm frequently struck by how incredibly fast paced everything seems.
The kids play lightening quick video games and seem capable of easily
multi-tasking beyond my wildest dreams. Could it be that this generation
is simply more in tune with a fast paced computer-speed world? Is
it possible that what we frequently see as learning "disorders"
are actually a result of these fast-generation kids being forced to
"sit still and be quiet" in old-fashioned boring educational
system that hasn't changed much in well over a hundred years? It's
certainly food for thought!
Admittedly, I am by no means an expert on autism. I am also absolutely
sure that the school I visited and the teachers there are all doing
the best they can. However what I do call my self an expert on is
bringing out the brilliance in kids - something that is clearly not
a requirement in any of the schools I am familiar with. The requirement
is rather one of forming the kids so they fit into society according
to their label. And yes, this applies to all sorts of labels and kids
- even the ones who are not diagnosed with any disability.
However, if Buckminster Fuller is right and everybody is a genius
- that would also mean *nobody* really fits. And conversely, in a
world of misfits, everyone fits!!
(C) 2006 Mom Has Fun Education. All rights reserved.
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