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Adult in Charge
From Part II: What to Do Ahead of Time
The adult in charge is in charge of everything. If the child wants
something, he or she has to go to the adult in charge. The standard
answer from everybody else will be, "Go ask the one in charge". The
adult in charge makes all decisions according to personal rules. It is all
right for each parent to have separate rules, as long as the rules aren't in
major conflict.
If there is severe disagreement among the adults in a household, you can
always call a team meeting to resolve the issue. Your children will adjust.
Children on the whole are very flexible and smart and easily know how to adapt
to different rules, as long as they know whose rules apply (i.e. they need to
be enforced).
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At one point in time we lived with our small children by a lake; we had a
nanny plus my husband and myself. One of us took the children swimming every
day. According to who took the children swimming, the kids had to respect
different rules. With the nanny, the kids had to stay in the shallow end,
since that was what she was comfortable doing with them. With me, they
were able to go out a little more, up to a specific point. With my
husband, they could go quite a bit further. When we all went to the lake
together, the kids usually would ask if Dad could be in charge. As
long as Dad had fun, he was in charge, and his rules applied. When
he needed some time for himself, he handed the "in charge" back over.
The wonderful part about this was that the kids had fun no matter whose
rules applied, as long as they knew the rules. |
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